Forge & Finish's Emily Kane on Why Every Minute Counts as a Working Mom
Forge & Finish co-founder Emily Kane with son Charlie
At Forge & Finish, we create distinctive handcrafted metal designs for the modern woman. As part of our dedication to the inspiring women we know and love, we’re celebrating the working moms in our creative community in a series of interviews. To kick off the series, we’re hearing from our very own co-founder Emily Kane who recently welcomed her first child, Charlie, into the world.
What was the pivotal moment that inspired you to launch your own business?
I always wanted to be a self-directed working person. I enjoy teamwork and feel happiest working outside of the normal work model. I think creatives need to have structure and discipline, but I do believe that the 9-5 model can have limitations and can be inefficient for productivity. I worked for a Jewelry company for 13 years. During that time, I was able to play all the roles and landed as a jewelry designer and hand-manufactured all of the pieces. I really loved that job — I felt satisfied being productive and compensated for it.
Having the experience of seeing what I could produce and how much income it made inside of that business model gave me the metrics to understand my abilities and the tools to structure a business. Ultimately, I realized my earning capacity and personal freedom were pressed up against a glass ceiling and had been for years.
The pivotal moment for starting Forge & Finish was my bond with Carly and Desiree. Before working with them, I fully planned on being on my own. I really trust them and I love them. They are as hard-working — if not more so — than me. I really respect them and think they are really unique in this world. I like having equals and being in a workplace that supports me as an individual but allows for teamwork.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced running your own business and how did you overcome it?
The biggest challenge is always right before you, there is always a new challenge to surpass.
Becoming a parent is my biggest challenge to date.
I think a big one for us as a business is still a WIP, but being time-efficient and breaking free from the standardized working model to understand how we can all reach our fullest potential. Realizing a business as a 4th partner in our working relationship, understanding it as it is seen in the world, and trying to bolster it to its fullest potential as well. Giving up some of the control and letting other creatives in to do what they do best. We have always boot-strapped everything in our business, and because of that, we have taken on roles that we aren’t great at. Letting others take those things on has really made our business start to bud new growth.
“A minute is so much longer now than it ever was before. A minute feels make or break sometimes.”
How did becoming a mama change your approach to your work life?
A minute late is late.
Time is very different as a parent. I have always been time conscious but now it's exacerbated to a whole new level. You know how in high school your day is broken up into blocks (block scheduling)? Well that's parenting. A minute is so much longer now than it ever was before. A minute feels make or break sometimes. I am racing the clock at all times now. And it starts during the birth process. In labor, minutes are everything. My son is extremely timely and predictable so far so that is helpful.
Is there a particular way you structure your day or week to accomplish your career goals and balance having a family? Do you have any time-saving hacks that you’ve incorporated into your daily life?
I don’t know that I can fully answer this question because I became a parent during the pandemic and I am also so new at parenting. Due to the pandemic, business/goals, social life, priorities as we knew it are really askew and far from normal.
However, I can tell you that having a structure to my day is crucial. My parenting model is that I am the constant and Charlie can weave in and out of order. So I try to keep certain trajectories constant, for example, bedtime, nap time, and meals are always at the same time. I try to have long-term goals that I am giving myself space to achieve as my son exits out of infancy. As far as time-saving hacks, parenting is all about multitasking. I cook in larger batches, order groceries online for delivery, I wash my face while Charlie is bathing, and we brush our teeth together when I have child-free time (like when he is sleeping or playing by himself). I hit it super hard and make every minute count even if that means taking a nap. I can fall asleep doing a handstand. Apple sauce is also really a lifesaver for me.
What have been your biggest challenges in the transition to being a working mama? How have you navigated them?
My biggest challenges, asking for help, relying on others a whole lot more than I was used to or was even comfortable with. Being unsure and indecisive about things, being stretched to the limit, and feeling like you are not really doing anything super well. Being in physical pain often was really something I hadn't anticipated. I think my experience is common for new parents and especially working parents — it can feel impossible sometimes.
I am someone who likes to finish tasks, spending thoughtful amounts of time working through things and being unencumbered; mothering while working is discordant with that, my attention is always split.
I got used to and more comfortable asking for help from a select few people. Even if I feel unsure of myself, I make decisions and do not needle myself for mistakes. If I feel insecure, I tell myself that it is ok and totally normal because guess what? These are insecure times.
“What I want Charlie to take away from Forge & Finish is to understand and appreciate collaborative action and think unique creative thoughts.”
How have your notions of what it means to be a mother changed since becoming one?
I think people make it look easy, but it is crazy hard. I am still in the first year of parenting so I don’t even really know all of it yet. I understand the parenting people in my life on a new level. I am totally impressed with Carly and Kim, friends of mine who have kids and make it look cool and totally easy all the time. I am kinder to myself and others.
What are some of your non-negotiables as a working mom?
Coffeeeeee. I drank coffee my whole pregnancy. First thing I did after giving birth was coffee. I need space and alone time to reflect and think. Being a birthing parent is intense. It's the most touching of another person you'll ever do physically, it's crazy. I think taking a break is super important. My grandmother used to meditate for 30 minutes every day at the same time, I do something like this. When we were living in the warehouse, we had no walls or doors, I got this by wearing my air pods and listening to a podcast or sitting on the fire escape to drink coffee. I actually prefer silence now that I have walls and a room. I go into my bedroom and lay on my bed and just enjoy the silence and check in with myself. I also do kundalini every week with my cousin on WhatsApp. I need these rituals that do not involve work or Charlie or being physically touched. They are so important.
What do you want your kids to take away from watching their mom work and grow their business?
I watched my mom work so hard in entrepreneurship. She was completely absorbed in work. Ultimately we emulate our parents whether we’d like to believe that or not. I used to be a workaholic like my parents. It isn't healthy.
What I want Charlie to take away from Forge & Finish is to understand and appreciate collaborative action and think unique creative thoughts. I love that the businesses we work with are dedicated to social good and also are really wholesome artistic endeavors. I hope that our business inspires that for all people but especially our children.
What’s your support system like? How has community been important to you as a mom?
Agh, I have so many amazing loving friends. It was hard for all of us to not be together to welcome Charlie into the world, the way we would normally. The pandemic was an obstacle, but our friends found safe ways to help us in every way possible. Some family and friends still haven't met Charlie — distance, financial, or health reasons have hindered that — but we have done virtual hangs.
I am super supported, big shout out to Ashley Wagner who really dedicated herself to me early on in the pandi and threw me a birthingway ceremony that words cannot express. The coffin factory peeps making us meals and shopping for us here and there, of course, my F&F fam setting up the meal train and taking turns taking Charlie on stroller walks and putting up with me just not being 100%. Grandma Kimbutt with her mother's wisdom. My psychic group for keeping me grounded, reminding me where the moon is, that there is still a moon and to look at it. My cousin Lily video WhatsApp messaging me every day to cheers me coffee. My mom has been helping babysit and is a game-changer, Charlie loves her.
“Take care of yourself first — your child will learn, prosper, and be better off for it.”